TWINS AT 20 WEEKS

I feel like a whim. I am having low self esteem. I should have taken the advise of an experience mummy to a twins seriously that it will be totally different experience carrying a pairs of twins and the journey may not be smooth sailing. I took it lightly until it was like the feeling of my head was banged against the wall with the bleeding and low placenta. The one month hospitalization leave almost lead me to pre natal depression. I was home alone during the first week when the husband off for his shift. I often cried and all the negative thoughts on my mind. I declined the parents’ offer to stay over at their place because I didn't want them to witness the other side of their daughter. Adriana and Aqil were at my in law place because I was not in the best condition to take care of them. By the second week, Adriana was brought back to keep me accompany. It did help me to get back on track and handling her wasn’t much an issue. Aqil was over at our house whenever hubby was on his off days. It was tough although the nauseous and morning sickness wasn’t the main factor. This time round, I have been complaining to the man more often with the aching all over my body. I don’t ever have the energy to lose my temper and I will just keep my mouth shut. I will be off from work for 10 days come next month, thanks for the annual leave that was supposed to be used for our holiday! I do hope I will get enough rest for the month of December and after which taking one day at a time. 5 months have gone and now left 4 more months to go. I simply can’t wait to get it over and done! Oh God, please give me the strength!